War

I think I had already mentioned that my brother was gonna be sent back over to Iraq. He troops are already there. He is suspose to be sent off seven days after his wife has the baby. His troops called him on Christmas to tell him there was already a bombing and a bridge was destroyed. The said they need their Sgt over there to help them out. I guess its nice that they need him but I really wish he didn't have to go. I cried over the song I post the other day. I was gonna find a pic of him when he was over there last time and post.

Crappy Day

Well today was a cruddy day. I just felt worse as the day went on. Came home and took a nap for 2 hours. Guess the nap was the highlight of my day. I hate being bummed out. Sorry I have nothing interesting to post about. Maybe tomorrow?

American Soldier

I'm just trying to be a father,

Raise a daughter and a son,

Be a lover to their mother,

Everything to everyone.

Up and at 'em bright and early,

I'm all business in my suit,

Yeah, I'm dressed for success from my head down to my boots,

I don't do it for money,

there's still bills that I can't pay,

I don't do it for the glory,

I just do it anyway,

Providing for our future's my responsibility,

Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,

And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,

I just work straight through the holidays,

And sometimes all night long.

You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,

Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,

And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,

I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrafice,

Oh, and I don't want to die for you,But if dyin's asked of me,

I'll bear that cross with an honor,

'Cause freedom don't come free.

I'm an american soldier, an american,

Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,

When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,

I'm out here on the front lines,

sleep in peace tonight.

American soldier, I'm an American,

An American,An American Soldier

http://media.putfile.com/TobyKeith-AmericanSoldier

CHRISTMAS!!!

Ok I had to post a few pictures of today. The best part of Christmas is staying home all day and never getting outta your pjs!


Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to Work

Well today I went back to work. The day was crazy. We had our Christmas party Friday night, there were door prizes and such. Well today someone was running their mouth about the party was rigged. Which went on and on and this person got into with a few people which ended up affecting me. They were gonna switch my work partner with someone else since they weren't getting along. My work partner and I were ticked. We have our own little way of doing things. We work together better then any one else. With the changing of partners it would mean the change of routine. Well since the person who started all this crap walked out, I ended up not losing my work partner. I hope it stays like that. My partner said she would have walked out too if they split us up. Don't I feel special. We both want outta there but as long as we can work together we can get by till we can move on. She says she wants to hold out on leaving until I am ready to move. That's nice of her since she can leave at any time and I on the other hand have to wait a little bit before I can leave. Actually the person who left today told me on Friday that out of all the people she had worked with I was one of her favorite. That was nice to hear. I stopped working with her to work a different shift. It seems that most of the drama is started by the older people. Isn't that odd? They are worse then the part time college kids.

Hard Times

Its been a week since I have posted. It has been a stressful time. Tuesday my grandmother passed. So you can imagine the reason for me not wanting to come here. It is odd that just two days before she pasted we went to my grandfathers grave. During the funeral service I tried not to make a sound while crying, but I held back as long as I could. No one else made a sound during the whole thing. At the very end while we passed the casket, I stop to see her once more and I lost it. My mother was telling me to come on. I can not understand why she can not let her emotions go. I felt as though she did not want me to make a scene. I knew at some point I would lose it. I feel as though I saw her more then any of her other grandkids. So how could I just sit there and be calm? My mother has lost both parents now. I still have both of mine but they aren't getting any younger. I dread the day this ever happens to me. I don't know how my mother was taught growing up. If she was taught not to cry or show emotion. I wonder though. I know people deal with things differently then others but I never saw mom cry at the funeral. She was a little teary eyed at one point but that was it. I guess I am just an emotional person. Some people can not deal with people like me. It was only three months before I moved away from home, that my grandfather died. Now I have been planning to move sometime in the early part of next year and now my grandmother passes. Its odd cuz I figured in about three months or so ill be moving.

Memories

Today we went and placed a small Christmas tree on my grandfathers grave. I came home and decided I should finally pull all my stuff down from the attic that was left when I moved away in 2002. Lots of old memories. Memories from middle school and high school. I even had some old barbie dolls from when I was a kid. Most of them with their hair cut off really short. I loved doing that and fixing their hair. I remember once a friend let me play with her barbies, I cut one of its hair off and never told my friend I did it. Ha kids! There were lots of old letters. I wrote many letters back and forth in high school. I did that more then my work. I threw a lot of stuff out. Of course mom says *Why are you throwing this stuff away?* I have too much stuff as it is. I need to get rid of as much of it as I can. It is fun going through old stuff. Never know what you might find.

When Pain and Suffereing Shall Be No More

Today my mother told me that she and her step dad picked out a dress for my grandmother today. "Why? " "Well incase it happens." "She isn't dead yet" They picked out a black and white dress. "Black?...She needs something pretty. Something pink or purple. Something that looks more like granny. "I was not very happy with this. I told her they should have let me help pick it out. He thinks its appropriate for a funeral. Yeah if your going to one. A few minutes ago I heard her call him up and say that she had been thinking about the dress and wanted something colorful. "Well the dress will be ready if it happens and if nothing happens we just wont tell anyone." I know its comming. She is 92 years old. I have been fine so far. It wont hit me till it actually happens but today I got those burning tears that are just sitting on the edge just waiting for something to make them fall. 92 years...what a long time to live. All the things a person has seen and done in 92 years. Last week the doctor said her mind and body are worn out and all they can do is make her comfortable till she dies. At that age I would be worn out too. I just hope she lived her life happy. My step grandfather said that my granny gave him the best 29 years of his life. That makes me happy!

May happiness and love be in your life everyday!

AHHH

I could not blog yesterday. I guess the site was down or something? I dunno. So whatever went on yesterday I don't remember. Nothing to exciting has happened today. You know there is always that one person who is horrible at their job. They don't give a crap they just show up to get a check. And they think every one owes them something. Well she finally got in trouble. The boss wrote a letter to her and then later that day I noticed her in the boss' office crying. You can always see who is in the office with the boss. She has windows on the two outside walls of her office so anybody and everybody who walks by can see. Her blinds are always open too. Most the time she never closes her office door either so when you need to talk to her about something some one will most likely hear. A few weeks ago this co-worker did something well I should say did not do something, I debated with my self the rest of the day and the next day about if I should say something to the boss. I hate to be a tattle tell but in all aspects of our job and its requirements I felt this matter should be addressed. I talked to my mother and a trusted co-worker. I ended up having to go behind her and did what she didn't do and I didn't tell any one but the two people I just mentioned. I have thought for some time now this person needs to be gone. I was nice about it and just confronted her about it. *Oh but I left at 1 that day* This should have been down way before then. Well now she is whining that they are trying to make her quit. She has been putting on for such a long time and getting everything she wants. No one likes working with her. She pretty dirty and will con her way outta anything she does not wanna do. Which is basically her whole job. Ok well I will step down now.

But I know you all know one of those people right?

Post Secrets

Every Sunday I go read all the new Post Secrets. I enjoy it cuz sometimes you can relate to them. People's embarrassing secrets. Some times I think I might send one in one day. When I read theirs it makes me think of things I do or like that other people might think odd. I doubt I will ever do it. Every one has to have a few secrets hidden some where.

If you haven't been to check it out, You should. (click title above)

Gross Things

I went to bed shortly after arriving home from work yesterday. I had no urge to turn the computer on. But yesterday was not to bad. Still have the inflowing compliments about my weight loss. I am so loving it cuz I haven't been trying. So today when I woke up I did 60 crunches and then put some music on to dance. That's the best and most fun way I think. Anyways lets skip back to yesterday.

I came back from my lunch break and the kids were napping. After I sat down I noticed one kid playing with something. I looked and was thinking no way. So I got up and went to her bed. Sure enough her diaper was off. And on top of that it was full of poop. Wonderful. So I got her up and cleaned her up. This one child is very odd. Just the other day I noticed her just doing her own thing by herself..sucking on her toes.

Any ways that's the only interesting thing that happened yesterday.


On a serious note several weeks after my grandmothers fall they say there's nothing they can do for her. Just make her comfortable till she dies. My mother is upset of course. But I am not sure how she is dealing with it. This is why I never like to cry in front o f my mom. I have never seen my mom cry. Although the other day when she told me there's nothing left for them to do... I could tell she had a few tears falling down but I did not look at her.
I was not taught it was ok to cry. But in the future I will teach my kids its ok. I am a very emotional person. I don't want my kids to be afraid to cry in front of me when they get older.